9 Reasons I Hate My Natural Hair

Okay the headline is misleading–I don’t hate my natural hair, I just hate the assumptions that come with it.  Yes, I have natural hair and I love it!  I returned to being natural 8 years ago (with a brief stint in between).  What does it mean to have natural hair?  It seems to mean something different when you speak to various black women.  As for me, natural hair means that my hair is not chemically treated–meaning I don’t have a relaxer/perm.  The texture of my hair is the one that I was born with.  My hair may be natural, but please don’t take that as a reason to assume other things about my personality.  Here are 9 things I hate that people assume that I do or don’t do because I have natural tresses:

9 Crazy Assumptions of Naturals

1.  I don’t eat processed foods: I try to be a healthy eater, but I don’t read the labels before I stuff something into my mouth.  Therefore, don’t assume that because my hair is natural then everything that goes into my mouth is also all-natural.

 

2.  I don’t burn incense: When I’m walking  down the street in New York I’m often approached by street merchants trying to sell me incense.  Now, that’s pretty commonplace in NY.  But when a merchant gets on the metro in Washington, DC and targets me for a sale, I can’t but help to think it’s because I’m the only one in the train car rockin’ a natural.

3. I’m not a revolutionist/militant: Afros have made a comeback since the ’70s when they were sported by many men and women including Angela Davis and members of the Black Panther Party.  Like many afro-wearing people of the 70’s, my afro doesn’t mean I’m a revolutionist fighting for a cause.  I will stand up for a cause but being militant has nothing to do with the width of one’s hair.

4. I don’t judge women who worship getting their hair permed: The creamy crack epidemic is real.  To my chemically-treated hair sistas, I ain’t mad atcha.  Do whatever makes you happy.

5. Yes, I wear deodorant and it’s not Tom’s: They say that natural deodorant is good for you and safer than the others.  But in this case, I sacrifice safety for not being funky.  Sorry Tom’s and other natural deodorants, but you just don’t keep me fresh and clean.

6. I don’t make all my own hair products: My hair may smell like berries, but that doesn’t mean I picked it from a tree.  In addition to making my own products, I am also a product junkie.  My bathroom cupboards are filled with them.

7. I don’t always recycle: Yes I admit it.  My carbon footprint is pretty big.  Despite having these natural tresses, I will still throw plastic and paper into the regular garbage can.  I’m not proud–I’m going to start to do better.

8. I’m not ashamed to rock a weave: Protective styles are a naturalista’s best friend.  In the winter, my hair can’t retain enough moisture and in the summer, it looks like a frizz ball.  But for the fact that I’d probably want to take it out within a day, I would not be afraid to rock a weave to give my hair a break from time to time–the weave would have to be natural of course.

9. I don’t spend my time watching Youtube how-to hair videos: I wish I was more creative and could do more with my natural hair but I’m not, so I don’t bother watching Youtube.

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7 Responses to “9 Reasons I Hate My Natural Hair”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    I am so disappointed that you don’t recycle 😦

    Besides that, I love reading every single post!

    Like

  2. Bishop The Eastside Nappyhead Says:

    this is a GREAT POST…really fun read

    Like

  3. Bishop The Eastside Nappyhead Says:

    does Tom’s make you funky? I don’t wear natural deodorant either…but i have been thinking about it

    Like

    • LIST Says:

      Bishop: I’m don’t think Tom’s makes someone funky, but I work out and it just doesn’t leave me feeling fresh through my workout. For now, I’ll stick to my chemically-infused Secret deodorant. If you make the switch, let me know if it works for you.

      Like

  4. The Mocha Messenger Says:

    Oh my goodness, I laughed from the beginning to the end of this post but not because I don’t agree that these assumptions are crazy but because it’s all too familiar. My hair is natural too but sometimes I “press it out” and I noticed that I people make crazy assumptions regardless. When it’s natural, I am approached by the incense and essential oils man too! I’ve also been asked several times about the state of affairs in different African nations. Yes, yes I have. When my hair is pressed, I’ve gotten “[gasp] Wait, is that your hair?!” and have been told “Oh, you’re rocking the whole Olivia Pope look today” Yes, yes I have. P.S. LOVE the pics too! – The MM

    Like

    • LIST Says:

      MM I’m glad you enjoyed! What are some of the comments when it’s pressed? I straighten mine maybe once or twice per year. An Olivia Pope comparison means you must be doing something right! 🙂

      Like


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