Stand Up or Shut Up!

Apparently NBC 4 in New York hasn’t been keeping up with my blog, and didn’t get my message about the moratorium on trying to understand why black women are single.  So apparently an anonymous person created a video on the website called “black marriage negotiation” which depicted why it was difficult for a successful black woman to find a husband.  Here we go again.  We already know how this conversation goes and my position on it.  Hence, this post isn’t going to go into the validity of the reasons single black women exist.

The reporter entered Adrian Fanus’ grooming salon to query the men and women.  While this was going on, one of my friends who was in the salon sent me a message informing me he was asked to provide his opinion.  He told me he refused to answer any questions.  I told him that was a wise decision.  Based on the topic and what I know of my friend, I thought it was best if he avoided this topic.

Alas, he didn’t follow my advice….

Cue video…

O  is a very close friend of mine.  I have known him since we were kids and we often engage in conversations pertaining to relationships and the state of our love lives (or lack thereof).  We  hardly ever see eye to eye.  Now I love him like a brother so I can overlook some of his perspectives when it comes to relationships, but I just didn’t think it was best for NY to learn about his shortcomings.  Nevertheless, he succumbs and provides the reporter with an inane a response.  From all that he claims to have said, O said that the reporter edited his response and only aired the “juicy part”.  Now most may say that his comment was innocuous, so why am I bringing it up in a blog post?  O says in the clip that he doesn’t discriminate  but he hasn’t dated a black women in SEVEN years (read: I’m not willing to lower my expectations to be with a black woman), and he tried to date a couple black women this year but it didn’t work out. Read: black women aren’t doing it for me (thereby showing support to this reporter’s fatuous question) and I am not afraid to date outside of my race.  But where was the support?  Where is the black man who will, when asked that question, say “black women are not struggling to find me.  Their expectations are what they are—theirs.  So stop asking this question and belaboring a moot point.”  Where is the black man who will hold up a picture of his beautiful black queen and contradict the reporter who is looking for data points to support his obscure hypothesis?  I knew O wouldn’t be that black man, so I guess I wished he would follow the old adage: if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.


One Response to “Stand Up or Shut Up!”

  1. Odilla Says:

    ” i love black women and i have no problem finding them” …but why are women taking this as attack against them. Marriage is like winning dumpster in the lottery


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