I was talking with a male friend (yeah I talk a lot) the other day and he mentioned to me that he had never broken up with a woman. At first I felt very sorry for him. He’s tall and handsome and a seemingly good catch, so why was it that he was getting such a raw deal? I mean NEVER breaking up with a woman? Always the one getting his heartbroken. My heart went out to him—for a moment. But then the inquisitive side of me told me to prod a bit further (never take a statement at face value).
So he said that he had never broken up with a female. Lazy logic would lead one to draw the conclusion that this guy had women dropping him like a bad habit. But then I asked him a few more questions. You always wanted to remain in a relationship with these women, yet still they dumped you? And his response was, “not exactly.” So now we were getting down to the heart of the matter. My next question was whether he ever had a relationship that he no longer wanted to be in. After he replied affirmatively, I followed up by asking him how he ended those relationships. His response was, “I didn’t.” Huh? Wait a minute did I miss something? Let me get this straight: he’s in a relationship with a woman, he decides it’s not going to work, but she breaks up with him. That led to my next question, what leads her to want to break up with him? Ding ding ding…I finally got to the million dollar question! His response was, “she just knows.”
So Mr. Brokenhearted was actually Mr. Heartbreaker with no balls. Rather than simply coming out and breaking up with the woman he is with, he resorted to making his actions speak for themselves. I challenged him on his method, and he simply said he didn’t want to hurt her feelings (news flash: whether you say it or make your actions say it, you’re hurting her feelings). In case there were some other men out there with a similar mindset, I thought I would provide this recommendation to ALL men out there: You are not helping your cause or sparing a woman’s feelings when you don’t come right out and tell her that you want to break up with her. Quite frankly, you hurt her more because you allow your ill-treatment of her to cause her to want to break up with you. And remember to BE HONEST. If not, then she’s going to draw her own conclusions, which generally aren’t favorable to you. Don’t come up with a lame excuse that that you have too much on your plate to be in a relationship anymore…we see right through it. Women are tougher than you think. There might be a few tears shed (and maybe a few windows smashed) but all-in-all she’ll respect you for saying it. So man-up and accept the role as heartbreaker because not breaking up with women does not classify you as brokenhearted.