I went out for drinks with a male friend of mine the other night and he asked me an interesting question. He wanted to know what I would prefer a guy to say when he approaches me. I paused and thought about it for a second, then came to the conclusion that I simply want a guy to be himself. No game. No come-on line. No fake conversation. He simply had to be himself. Then I thought about how I’ve met most of the guys that I later dated, and they were usually men who I was simply friends with (if we weren’t friends before it turned out badly).
About a week later I attended a networking event with my girlfriends. While sitting in rush hour traffic I contemplated taking a detour for home because I knew what type of “networking” would be happening. An opportunity for DC “who’s who” to flex their game and pick up lines, under the guise of their professional prowess. Needless to say I was very shocked at how the night turned out. As I walked around I watched the swapping of business cards, conversations about various professional organizations and casual discussions about living in DC. I left the event pleasantly surprised and reassured with my theory that men would have an easier time approaching women if men were themselves and simply sparked conversation as they would with a person who they were not interested in. With this approach, the man seems more genuine and the lady isn’t put off by his forwardness.
How does a guy implement this strategy? He sees a woman in a bookstore (not the club—I’ll probably never date a guy from an encounter in the club) and comments on the book she’s reading (if he’s familiar with it). He asks her whether she likes to read a lot. If she seems open to his overture, then he continues with the conversation and allow it to naturally progress.—in the end she may end up asking the guy out. So men take heed—if you see a woman who you are really feeling, don’t spit that game—don’t come on too hard. Just be yourself and you increase your chances of the woman being interested in you.